My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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