Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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