the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
