i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
