I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
