you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
