his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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