After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Terrible idea I love it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
