Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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