I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
