its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So apparently I’m into choking now
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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