He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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