super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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