ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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