We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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