I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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