maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
