Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
