I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
