Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
