Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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