it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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