you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize