I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
