I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
