Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
