sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
