Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize