You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
