never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
