He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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