hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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