He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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