Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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