2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
