she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
