Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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