already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
