you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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