She announced her abortion via fbk
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
