even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
