I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
