Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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