They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
