Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
