You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize