How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize