She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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