Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
