yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
