I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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