come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
