Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
