So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
