I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
birth control should be required to get into college
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
