nut hugger
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
