Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
