Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
