And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
