finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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