I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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