Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
