By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
