Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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