I think my fart just growled at me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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