With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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