too bad you live with your parents still
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
