i would punch a child for taco bell
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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