Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
