Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
